Confession: I didn’t always negotiate my salary.
Despite studying negotiation to the nth degree during my law degree, taking every class available at my alma mater, my exchange university, and even investing in private courses on the subject despite my limited budget. Such was my commitment to the subject.
But like I said: when it came to negotiating for myself, when the law firm I joined offered me my first role whilst I was still at uni, it didn’t even cross my mind I should negotiate.
They had made a great offer; being the number 1 firm in my country, their pay was the best in the market. But also: I didn’t realise I should have. I was SO grateful they’d offered me a place at this prestigious firm in the first place, it just didn’t cross my mind I’d have any other expectations.
So I signed on the dotted line, vowing to make them proud. I’d work hard, I’d get results, and then they would see that and appreciate that, surely?
Alas.
As you may have guessed, this is not what happened. Of course it isn’t. That’s not what happens in business.
Finding out that my (male) peers HAD negotiated, and indeed secured higher salaries for equal work, simply because they had asked… stung, to say the least.
There were other reasons too, but this particular inequality was part of my decision to leave.
To be totally honest, I can now see that my anger and frustration were directed at myself. I was furious that I hadn’t advocated for my own worth from day one.
What I Learned About Negotiating Your Worth
Here’s what I learned from that painful experience, my darling:
Gratitude and negotiation aren’t mutually exclusive. You can be thrilled about an opportunity AND still ensure you’re being paid fairly for it. This is fundamental to women’s career negotiation advice: appreciation doesn’t mean accepting less than you’re worth.
“Best in market” doesn’t mean “best for you.” Even if their standard offer is generous, there’s usually room to negotiate based on your specific value. Strategic career negotiation means understanding your unique worth, not just accepting market standards.
Your male colleagues are already negotiating. While you’re feeling grateful and not wanting to rock the boat, they’re securing better terms. The boat is already rocking, you’re just not on it.
Hard work alone doesn’t guarantee recognition. I genuinely believed that if I just performed exceptionally, the rewards would follow. Spoiler alert: they don’t automatically. This is what executive career coaching for women addresses: the gap between performance and recognition.
The cost of not negotiating compounds over time. That initial salary difference doesn’t just affect your first pay cheque, it affects every raise, bonus, and future offer that’s based on your previous compensation.
Why This Matters for Professional Women
This experience completely changed how I approach my career and how I teach women at Women of Agency to approach theirs.
Now I know: your first offer is rarely their best offer. Even from prestigious companies. Even when you’re grateful. Even when you’re scared they’ll withdraw it.
The worst they can say is no. And if they withdraw an offer because you asked a reasonable question about compensation? You’ve just dodged a bullet.
My male colleagues figured this out instinctively. It took me a painful lesson to learn it.
This is why negotiation strategies for women need to be taught explicitly. What men often learn informally, through observation and encouragement, professional women frequently have to discover through painful experience or deliberate education.
At Women of Agency, our women’s career coaching program focuses on exactly this: helping senior professional women develop the mindset and skills to negotiate their worth confidently from day one, not years down the line after discovering they’ve been underpaid.
The Silver Lining
But here’s the silver lining: that frustration, that anger at myself for not advocating for my worth, became the fuel for everything I do now.
Every client who secures a better offer, every woman who negotiates her worth with confidence, they’re all partly motivated by my determination that no other brilliant woman should make the same mistake I did.
This is why I created Women of Agency. Why our women’s negotiation coach approach focuses on both mindset and strategy. Why our salary negotiation podcast for women breaks down real scenarios. Why our women’s leadership workshops include negotiation as a core competency.
Because negotiate your worth isn’t just a tagline. It’s a skill that mid-to-senior level women deserve to master, and it’s a skill that has tangible, compounding financial impact over your entire career.
Your Next Step
So if you’re reading this and recognising yourself in my story, know this: it’s never too late to start negotiating for what you’re worth.
Whether you’re facing your first offer, your tenth, or looking at a promotion, career advancement coaching can help you develop the confidence and strategy to advocate effectively.
At Women of Agency, we help women in leadership and executive women at all stages develop the negotiation capabilities that drive real financial results.
Ready to stop leaving money on the table and start advocating for your true value? Our women’s career coaching program can help you develop the skills I wish I’d had from day one.
